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michael b. davie | poetry for the insane

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Poetry For The Insane

by Michael B. Davie

Dedicated to the guy who told me: “You sir, are a genius”

National Library of Canada. CIP: Cataloguing in Publication: Davie, Michael B., 1954- Poetry For The Insane / Michael B. Davie. Includes no Index, photography or meaningful content. ISBN 0-9731956-7-3. Copyright 2003-10-15, Published November 15, 2003 by Manor House Publishing. All rights reserved. Printed in Canada by Webcom Limited. First edition. Cover Concept/Design: Michael B. Davie. Photo/illustration ‘ Humpty Bumptied’: M.B. Davie. The publisher gratefully ackknowledges the financial support of the Book Publishing Industry Development Program (BPIDP), Department of Canadian Heritage.

An impotent message

This book is for the insane. It’s also for people who at some point in life made a minor error in judgement or had a fleeting moment of self doubt: the virtually insane.

The fact you’ve read this far is irrefutable evidence you’re afflicted with a form of insanity, even if you can’t quite put your finger on it.

This book is here to help you. It’s literally filled with poetry intended, however unrealistically, to alleviate all manner of mental/emotional distress.

Poetry for the Insane has been designated ‘Most Important Book of All The Millenniums’ – the most prestigious honour possible from the Pseudo Psychiatric Institute. The Institute began – and continues – as a concept existing exclusively in the mind of the author himself. Today, the Institute is considered by some to be a world leader in the burgeoning field of faux psychiatry. The Institute’s standards are such that it will steadfastly refuse any affiliation with legitimate psychiatric institutes. It’s truly a unique entity.

Set your mind free. Embrace this book’s remarkable message of love and hope and literary profitability.

Everyone is proud of you for having come this far. Now it’s time to take the next step and buy a copy of this book. You’ll also need copies for friends and relatives: This is a book with a message to be shared – and cherished.

incl. shipment cost world-wide

“I thought I’d never stop laughing…this guy kills me, he really kills me…now I want to kill him…” - I. Murderman, author, Creep

“Quite possibly the most brilliant book ever written…a work of sheer genius…truly wo, Poetrynderful, absolutely superb…” - Michael B. Davie, author, Poetry For The Insane

I am not God

It is true
I write well
It is true
Women find me attractive
It is true
I’m charming
and sexually active.

It is true
I am a genius

My intellect is vast
My talents impressive
My achievements astonishing

But do not say that I am God
I am not God
Do not pretend that I am God
I am not God

Do not think of me as God
Think of me as a god
The God of Modesty


I’d like to thank the little people: Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman; Penguin portrayer Danny DeVito (“I feel five-feet-yall”), the Munchkins in the MGM classic The Wizard of Oz; and that Herve guy on Fantasy Island, whose conversational skills were limited to the tired phrase: “Boss, it’s a plane.” The existence of such delightfully diminutive denizens of public life is enough to propel my ego to heights they’ll never see. I may be of average stature, but I tower above all of them. I’m bigger than them. It makes me feel good, superior, tall. I know it’s wrong. But it takes a big man to admit he’s wrong – and didn’t I just do that? This big man thanks all of you. As well, I’d like to thank life’s losers, loveable and otherwise. Your sad, humiliating failures are not without purpose: Anyone who isn’t you is a winner. Thanks for making me successful. On a more serious note, I’d like to thank my wife Philippa, our children Donovan, Sarah and Ryan and my parents, Bob and Pearl Davie, for accepting and occasionally enjoying my offbeat sense of humour. Also, thanks go to Richard Kosydar for his expert layout/technical assistance and to the good folks at Webcom Limited. Finally, I’d like to thank me for believing in me when everyone else had more sense. I couldn’t have done it without me. – Michael B. Davie

incl. shipment cost world-wide

Michael B. Davie

one of Canada’s most intriguing, prolific and versatile writers, Michael B. Davie is equally at home writing fiction, including novels and poetry; and non-fiction, including biographies, political science, sociology, business, anthropology and other genres. He’s the author of such critically acclaimed business/biography books as the Winning Ways series, Enterprise 2000 and Success Stories. Top-selling works of non-fiction include Winning Big, Why Everybody Hates Toronto, Bushwhacked and Poetry for the Insane: The Full Mental. The multi-award-winning writer is also the author of nationally important books Canada Decentralized, Distant Voices, Political Losers, and Quebec & Section 33: Why the Notwithstanding Clause Must Not Stand. Other critically acclaimed books include: The Late Man, his 10th book and first novel, which continues to enjoy a cult following. Other novels are in the works. He’s also explored the supernatural in his books Inside The Witches’ Coven and Following The Great Spirit.

Michael B. Davie

is also a career journalist whose award-winning writings are showcased in two News & Features books. He’s also the founding president of Manor House Publishing Inc. Prior to deciding in April 2006 the devote more time to publishing and writing books, Davie had spent more than a decade with the national news media, including eight years as an editor and journalist with The Toronto Star, Canada’s largest newspaper, reaching millions of readers daily. The author has won dozens of awards for outstanding journalism. His work has also appeared in such major Canadian newspapers as the Halifax Chronicle-Herald, Montreal Gazette, Calgary Herald, Winnipeg Free Press, Edmonton Journal and Vancouver Sun.

Prior to The Star, he was an editor with The Globe and Mail, Canada’s national newspaper with coast-to-coast readership. Previous to The Globe, he spent 17 years with The Hamilton Spectator, where he won 28 journalism awards. Prior to joining The Spectator, he spent five years with other publications, including the daily Welland Tribune where he was a reporter, columnist and editor.

He also served two years as regional news editor for one of Ontario’s largest chains of community newspapers. Born in Hamilton in 1954, Michael B. Davie’s interest in writing began in early childhood. As a pre-school child, he became withdrawn and was in a state of shock after his parents decided to divorce. During a visit to a community centre, the child opened the door to a room to find child psychologists had been studying him through two-way mirrors.Davie then began closely observing other children and adults, studying their interaction and watching their stories unfold. By the late 1960s and into the 1970s, while in his teens, he was a contributing writer to several counter culture publications. He turned professional in the mid-1970s as Editor of The Phoenix serving Mohawk College of Applied Arts & Technology where he earned a Broadcast Journalism diploma.

He also holds a Niagara College Print Journalism diploma and degrees in Political Science from McMaster University where he was repeatedly named to the Deans’ Honour List and won the Political Science Prize for outstanding academic achievement. Michael B. Davie currently resides in Ancaster with his wife Philippa and their children Donovan, Sarah and Ryan.

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