Monday, June 21st, 2010...9:46 am

doug draime | wish i had the money he’s making hell, half of it would do the trick

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Wish I Had The Money He’s Making Hell, Half Of It Would Do The Trick

She thought I was
the actor
Harvey Keitel.
And I thought it was
some kind of joke,
at first.
I don’t think I look
anything like
Harvey Keitel
But she was insisting,
thrusting a pen
and piece of paper
at me, shaking and
stammering.

I told her that I wasn’t
Harvey Keitel, and that I
thought I was much better looking.

She just giggled and said
“Oh, I knew you would
say something like that, Harvey,
I mean Mr Keitel. I spotted
you, uh, well, I saw you when
you first walked into
the food court, and
have been sitting over
there watching you eat
your tacos . I just can’t
believe it’s really you.”
Her eyes were filling
with tears, and I just
didn’t have the heart to break
the news to her again.

So, I smiled, asked her
what her name was
as I took the pen and
paper. I wrote:
“To Jennifer. Best regards,
Harvey Keitel”
As I was handing it back,
she said she’d seen
every one my movies.

“I got a new one coming
out real soon,” I told her.
Her eyes got real big and
she asked the name.
I told her, “The Life And
Strange Times Of Doug
Draime”.

“How do you spell tthat last name?”
she asked. I spelled my
name and she wrote it down.
Then I got up and walked
away, just like Harvey Keitel
in “Mean Streets”.

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