Vintage sex is like modern sex,
only black and white, with no filter.
People enjoy threesomes
and anal stimulation.
Women with enormous,
unenhanced breasts
give blowjobs to eager gentlemen.
Stylish plaid couches offer succor
to sexually charged fellows
whose hairy overweight bellies
spill over the tops of polyester pants.

Two men extend their penises
like half-wilted bouquets to
a woman with a beehive hairdo
as she reclines on a single bed,
clad only in black garters,
legs spread open buffet-style.
She tries her best to look pleased
while she smiles coyly
at one of the proffered members.

These images seem wholesome
compared to the mechanized
porn models of today,
whose casual brutality
is on prominent display
on countless computer sites.
Robot men and women
contort their faces and
thrust like jackhammers
into each other’s orifices.

Barely legal girls reveal silicone
and perfectly shaved genitalia;
they perch on cheap stilettos
and stare into the mirror
with pursed selfie faces,
cellphones grasped firmly in hand.
Some guy will always jerk off
to these images, repeatedly,
until a banner pops up on the screen,
demanding his credit card number.
Meanwhile, you can google “vintage sex”
and gaze at the photographs
for as long as you want.
Just make certain that
nobody catches you looking.

Leah Mueller is an indie writer and spoken word performer from Tacoma, Washington. She is the author of two chapbooks and four books. Her latest book, a memoir entitled “Bastard of a Poet” was published by Alien Buddha Press in June, 2018. Leah’s work appears or is forthcoming in Blunderbuss, The Spectacle, Outlook Springs, Crack the Spine, Drunk Monkeys, Atticus Review, Your Impossible Voice, and other publications. She was a featured poet at the 2015 New York Poetry Festival, and a runner-up in the 2012 Wergle Flomp humor poetry contest.

5 Replies to “GOOGLING “VINTAGE SEX” by Leah Mueller”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.