She Coughs When She Flushes, like I Don’t Know the Difference by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

She Coughs When She Flushes, like I Don’t Know the Difference She comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped tight around her head and asks me what I am reading and I tell her: The Human Condition is Continue reading She Coughs When She Flushes, like I Don’t Know the Difference by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Crapper by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Crapper We meet in the hallway. He coughs a thick cloud of smoke in my face: hey, where’s the crapper? Turn around, I say, you can’t miss it. He actually turns around into the wall. Hey – I am already Continue reading Crapper by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Student Government by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Student Government Our high school decided it would be a good way for us to learn about democracy if we held an all-day event at a nearby park to elect a new student government. There were six candidates standing for Continue reading Student Government by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Best Man in a Leading Role by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Best Man in a Leading Role I walk by the movie theatre now. Video evidence no longer interests me. Especially at those prices. Popcorn caught between the teeth and aching. The last time I went, a group of drunk girls Continue reading Best Man in a Leading Role by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Wrestling is Fake Unless You Are the Wrestled by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Wrestling is Fake Unless You Are the Wrestled You grew up on all the same bullshit I did. At least some of it: King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd, Randy Macho Man Savage…Hulk Hogan ripping yellow shirts to I’m a Continue reading Wrestling is Fake Unless You Are the Wrestled by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Death of a Saleswoman by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Death of a Saleswoman Of course Arthur Miller couldn’t stay with Marilyn. He told her she was the saddest woman he had ever met. Then he wrote it into the script of The Misfits as though she hadn’t heard him Continue reading Death of a Saleswoman by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

The Madman of Coyote Island by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

The Madman of Coyote Island (for John Patrick Robbins) It is not often that you come across such a good writer who also happens to be an even better drinker, but that is what they have with the madman of Continue reading The Madman of Coyote Island by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Another Would-Be Writer Goes to Los Angeles by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Another Would-Be Writer Goes to Los Angeles Go for broke. Going out of business. Everything up to 70% off. You’ve seen the signs, this is not simple clairvoyance. Romania is a real country even though it sounds more like a Continue reading Another Would-Be Writer Goes to Los Angeles by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Harvey Weinstein Jerks Off In New York Restaurants by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Harvey Weinstein Jerks Off In New York Restaurants according to this journalist who claims he forced her to watch him ejaculate into a potted plant and I feel bad for the plant right away all green and leafy and stoic Continue reading Harvey Weinstein Jerks Off In New York Restaurants by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Silver Tongues by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

Silver Tongues Well after midnight in a smoked meat delicatessen with a fleeing Jewish name I sit by the window and imagine starting over again, the cake of my first birthday a completely different colour, this cold dark tea in Continue reading Silver Tongues by Ryan Quinn Flanagan