Harvey Weinstein Jerks Off In New York Restaurants

according to this journalist
who claims he forced her to watch him
ejaculate into a potted plant

and I feel bad for the plant right away
all green and leafy and stoic one moment
and then that

and I know journalists are hardly the best
source of information,
have you watched the news lately?

I just wish I could get the plant’s side of it:
“I was just sitting there minding my own business
producing chlorophyll when this rat bastard
went and spooged on my head.”

That would be the clincher for me.
How to correctly compensate a plant
for incurred emotional trauma.

Some fresh soil perhaps.
And oodles of natural
light.

Ryan Quinn Flanagan is a Canadian born author presently residing in Elliot Lake, Ontario Canada. His work has been published both in print and online in such places as The New York Quarterly, Windsor Review, Vallum, The Antigonish Review, CV2, Horror Sleaze Trash, Evergreen Review, Your One Phone Call and In Between Hangovers.